do you?

i don't know how judging is such a habit nowadays.
you wear the same shirt from yesterday, people talk.
you forget to brush your hair, people talk.
your boots didn't match your jeans, people talk.
you listen to country song, people talk.
people talk. people judge.
and sometimes in a very awful way.

don't you ever think about it.
a girl you just called fat, is in a battle field, battling against herself. she is suffering inside. she hates her body, she hates herself. she cried on her sleep last night, over her weight gaining that went brutally insane. she keeps thinking about how to get the rid of those fat around her belly. she always get that sinful feeling after having breakfast, lunch, or dinner. but she can't change her eat-pattern, because whenever she feels sad, depressed, angry, she goes on eating. and this past year is really hard for her. and you just don't know about that.

a girl you just called ugly, got her heart wrecked, again. you don't know how many people doing that to her and you just making it worse, one more time. every girl has a dream to be as pretty as their favorite disney princesses when they were kids. so does she. she once believe a quote she had read: every girl is beautiful. but then came bad people out of nowhere. she has acne, her hair looks like a bird nest, she dressed up not as good as those pretty girls, she doesn't wear nice clothes, you have no idea what's behind her bitter smile. she can't afford nice clothes, or spa treatment, or hair treatment. she doesn't come from a wealthy family. she has four sisters, and her mother is a single parent. she just don't have time to think about those stuff. and you just don't know about that.

a girl you're making fun of, is having a very hard life lately. she didn't make it to the university of her dream. she ran out of her luck on the day they announced the entrance test result. her family is not in a good condition now. her father is a drug-addict. her mother is planning for a divorce. it's all just a mess. she is feeling sick about her life. she stays up all night creating stories inside her head, or wake up at 3 then crying until the sun rises. she is tired pretending like everything is okay. she got no one to talk to. you don't know how it feels like to stand inside her shoes. you don't know what version of life she is living in. you think it's fun to laugh at her, you make her feel miserable. and you just don't know about that.

everybody has their own battle fields.
some people feel hopeless, and they hide it.
what do you expect?
a world full of perfect flawless people?
you know that nobody's perfect, nobody has a perfect life, even you, don't you?
do you feel satisfied seeing somebody falls apart because of you?
are you that kind of person?




imagine what would your mom say if she knew her child is that kind of person.

realized

is anyone realized 2014 is coming in less than 31 days right away?

this year had been so rough, complicated, all the ups and downs were somehow frustrating. then, without you even have chance to notice, days keep passing by, clock keeps ticking, and all of sudden december is here already.

then you started thinking, what have you done in this whole year, what have you been through, was there any changes.

then you started feeling some sort of emotions. you just realized how miserable your life is. it feels like you're running toward a cliff, then it feels like you're trapped in a small island in the middle of the ocean alone, but you're not afraid, you're not feel any loneliness, because it's not the loneliness that scares you the most. you scared that you just like it to be alone, you scared that you will possibly build a fences around you just to keep people away without you ever realized.

then you realized who stays who left. who cares who just having curiosities. who's there to be laugh with but left when it's niagara falls on your eyes. you realized no one would stay when you on your low, though they say the would. no one you can count on, to listen to your stories without secretly judging you. no one worth your sleepless night thinking about 'em.

then you realized you're alone.

and you're fine with it.

fine.

you'll be fine.

i swear.