I wish I could be as simple as that quotes above. But in fact, I'm not. I don't have this "bulimic" or such thing, I just feelin' so desperate everytime I stare at the mirror and seeing my body shape from head-to-toe. I'm fat. But it doesn't mean that I wish for a skinny body or what... but with this height, I'm fat.
Well, today I just checked my weight in my school's medical room and feelin' a bit down. I didn't do any weight-loss like I thought I did.
I'm not this kind of girl who being wanted by every guy. Well I admit it. And most of times, it makes me feel like "I won't be good enough for that guy I like". People keep talking about this "inner-beauty" thingy that appears from a "self-confidence", but I don't know why I just can't believe it. Sounds like I didn't be thankful for how I am now, huh? Forgive me, God.
I'm being so hypersensitive of what people said about me these days. Ugh. It's because of this kind of feelin' that somebody just make me feel. God, I really hate "falling-in-love" phase. I hate it. I hate the way this thing makes me feel pathetic and not good enough to fall for someone.
This guy, is such the "it' boy. Sounds like a teen-drama, I know. I kinda hate my schoolmates' reaction hearing about me, liking this guy. They were like... "ahaha, you?" :/ nah. I should be back off. I think all I can do is just watching him from his back, and he will never turn around to see me.
pictures above from here.
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