Two days left!

2012 is two days left.

People made themselves busy with makin' some new year resolutions. I used to be that kind of person. But lately I know that it's kinda useless. I mean, every year I always make at least 4 new year resolutions and somehow it didn't work out on me. I live my life as it goes, I can't stuck on some wishes and silly goals I made on the day I want it to be happened. I can possibly don't want it anymore in the middle of the year, who knows?

On January I made 6 2011 goals, and know what? Just two of them that practically happened. I was failed to get in Science class, I was failed to join the biggest basketball tournament in my country and should patiently wait next year for my turn, and I completely failed to decrease my weight. And I didn't feel like a happier person this year. Well, let's get some flashbacks about this year. I've got tons of bad moments, and also the good ones.

This year my beloved uncle, my mom's the only brother, passed away. That's the worst thing that happened to me this year. Losing someone you adore, you love, close to you, be there for you and every single family member, someone who being so great, so nice, how could it be not bad? He's gone all of sudden. I wish you get the best place beside Allah SWT, om. We miss you already :)

Did I mention that I was failed to get in Science class? Well, yes, I was. But that's not definitely the end of the world. Social class is not as bad as I thought it would be. My classmates in XI Social 2 are nice, but yeah, there are some annoying classmates too. Get in Social class means no pressure. Eventho all of the subjects are definitely not my thing, like Economy.. Sociology.. geez, I was their #1 hater, but compare to Science class which is full of pressure if your brain not capable of it... Social class is good enough and giving you much time to enjoy your time in high school (no offense all of Science class' members! :p). And I made it to the first rank in the end of the first semester in Social class. First rank! yaaaaay! Such a great welcome, Social class!

I turned 16 on September. I realized the older I am, the better I should be. It's time to think and planning my future. What am I gonna do after graduated? Which University will I take? It somehow struggling all over my head. I'm accepting people's opinions. I know it's time to make my own decision, no matter am I ready or not.

I wanna thank God for keeping my family and all my besties safe. I'm really grateful to having them all around me and get their supports whenever I need it. I always mention their names everytime I pray, asking God to let them stay near me, wishing they enjoying their lives, and they keep loving and supporting me. Especially mom. We fight and argue a lot. But I can't imagine life without her. Without her there is no me. She is the strongest woman I ever known. She mad at me most of the times cz we rarely have the same sight of things, we don't have the same taste of fashion and foods, me and my mom just... different. But I love her, and she loves me too.

And this is last flashback I wanna share, but not least.

You.
Thank you for all the good memories you gave me. Five months may not be long, but I guess it's long enough for me to learn. Learn that the one who changed me is not always the one will be long lasting with me. Learn that love isn't enough for a commitment, it including faith, and everything else. Thank you for those tears you put on my cheeks, and all the wounds. It makes me stronger.
Thank you for the best birthday surprise ever. You made the day I'm turning fifteen completely perfect. I will never forget the day when you came over and asking me out. Thank you for the attention. Maybe Rihanna is right about the boy who would make us feel like we are the only girl in the world. Well, with all your attention, you did makin' me feel like I'm the only girl in this world.
Thank you for a few last words at that night you told me. When you said you will love me like forever, and eventho I knew sooner or later it will be... just words, but at least it makes me feel better that night. And yes, the next three months everything becomes like you never say those words to me, and I've been replaced.
How I wish what happened in 1st March is never exist.

11 Things

Another post in Indonesian, folks! Lagi lagi aku di tag sama Basith di postingannya, which is mean, aku mesti nge-post juga hahaha eh ngerti ga?

Postingan ini ada hubungannya sama angka 11. Biar lebih jelas buka punyanya Basith aja deh ya di sini hehe. Aku sama Basith make a deal kalo aku ga mesti nge-tag another 11 bloggers lagi, soalnya...berhubung baruuu juga main blog ya ga kenal blogger sampe 11 orang -_- so, anyone who reading this post and wants to copy, sok atuh haha :D

First rule-nya... "Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their jurnal" ok....

1. Aku suka warna ungu (but doesn't mean I'm a belieber, note that. Well I like Justin but not as much as a belieber do), merah maroon, sama warna kuning. Ga punya alasan kenapa aku suka :S

2. I love basketball a lot, dan tim favorit aku tuh LA Lakers sama Boston Celtics. Bayangin seberat apa dilema aku (tsahh...) waktu final playoffs tahun 2009, pas Lakers akhirnya ketemu Celtics...aaa :0 ga tau mesti dukung yang mana. Jadi setiap Rajon Rondo atau Kobe Bryant nyetak score sama sama aku teriakin di depan tv hahaha

I'm a Celtics fan :] *taken with webcam, bad quality-_-*

3. I can speak three kind of languages: Indonesian, English, aaand Bahasa Melayu. Well, bahasa melayu itukan macem macem ya, jadi mungkin bahasa melayu yang aku pake bisa dikategorikan sebagai bahasa melayu pontianak. Bahasa melayu itu asik loh hahaha kok bisa asik ya aku juga ga tau. Mungkin dari lahir yang masuk ke telinga aku ya bahasa ini kali ya hahaha

4. I'm a Herpetophobia. :/

5. Pernah nangis semaleman di kamar gara gara ga bisa ngerjain pr trigonometri dan pr nya mesti dikumpulin besok paginya.

6. I'm a cry baby. I believe that with crying, everything will feel so right even just a bit :)

7. Aku benci film horor. Beneran ga suka. What's the point of watching something that makes you can't sleep at night? Biar umur udah enam belas jalan tujuh belas gini aku sukanya kartun. And so far, my favorite ones are Coraline and Toy Story :3

8. Addicted to Buzz Lightyear. To infinity and beyond!

9. A twitter-freak. Can't tell you why.

10. Sebenernya ya aku tuh ga punya patokan buat tipe cowok. Tapi ga tau kenapa nyantol nya selalu sama yang...hmmm...sipit sipit gitu yang cina cina. *blush*.

Mario...*drool*

11. Platsm means the world for me.

HAHAHAHA that's all. Rule selanjutnya... aku mesti jawab beberapa pertanyaan absurd nya Basith. Here we go...

1.Kapan mulai blogging?
Baru bangeeeeeeeeeeet oktober lalu kalo ga salah hehe

2.Tau blog gue (Arti Sebuah Tulisan) dari mana?
buka buka info facebook. (please sith.... aku bukan stalker, benarlah -_-)

3.Sebutkan 3 hal mengenai blog gue menurut pendapatmu!
colorful, berbobot (ga kayak blog aku-_-), dan apa adanya :) (loh?)

4.Kenapa Indonesia menang Sea Games?
karena... ayo ayo ayo Indonesia bisa~

5.Paling takut dengan siapa/apa?
Allah swt sebagai Pencipta 0:)

6.Ceritakan singkat pengalaman tergokilmu.
Aku pernah jatuh dari motor sampe kecebur selokan gara gara ngindarin anak kecil yang main sepeda sambil noleh kebelakang. Dan itu seminggu sebelum farewell party SMP yang di dangau itu loh sith -_- lutut aku lecet lecet dan dress aku di atas lutut, terpaksa pake dress lain -_-

7.Apa impian kalian?
sukses. gitu aja hahaha. Dan impian untuk waktu dekat ini cuma semoga ulangan semesteran aku lancar dan hasilnya bikin puas hati bukannya malah bikin nyesek haha trus semoga DBL 2012 sesuai dengan harapan.

8.Blogger yang nyebelin tuh seperti apa sih?
ha............gatau ._.

9.Ciuman dengan apa yang paling nikmat?
apa pula ini....-_- ga tau, ga pernah -_-

10.Enakan berak jongkok, duduk atau berdiri?
jongkok!

11.Apa yang akan kalian lakukan kalo gue disamping kalian?
tepok bahu sambil bilang "baseeeeeth! cemane gak lama nda di pontianak nih? asli tambah puteh kayaknye nih yeee"

fiiuuuh. Selesai juga postingan ini hahahah panjang amat yak kayaknya. Thank you Basith for tagging me :)

need a break?

So many things struggling on my mind. Sometimes all I wanna do is find a hidden re-start button of my brain and, poooof, shut it down for a while--I want to forget things for a while.

I want to escape my pretty rough world, eventho I might sound like a pathetic loser. I wish I could get in to Narnia and when I get back to my real world, everything happens with the way I want.

I want to get back to a couple years ago. When I was still 2 or 3. When everything went peacefully (at least I thought it did), when the only thing that could makes me cry is when somebody breaks my favorite toy..

Time flies so fast. Really fast. Sometimes I feel like I couldn't realize every single thing that happens to me. It feels like I just celebrating my 6 birthday, but then I see a 16 years old girl in the mirror. I'm not a 6 anymore. I couldn't remember when did the last time I'm counting sheeps before I sleep, when did the last time I'm afraid that there might be something under my bed, when exactly people start to break my heart, not my toys anymore..
I need a break. We need a break. What if we could stop the time just to take a breathe...

But I believe in one thing: God won't give us trials we can't handle. Every beautiful thing takes its time to be happened. Just don't let anything makes you down. Everybody deserves to be happy with their lives, and you either :)

Things I love

I know I sound like on the highest level of "self-crisis". I woke up this morning and thinking, all these unimportant things are not worth any pain I felt. If loving someone brings sadness and tears, let it go, it suffers you, and don't hold on something that suffering you. What's the point of living a life? To be happy, enjoying every little thing that happened--whether it's sweet or bitter, to chase dreams, to win.

Well, I wanna tell you what I love to do, and makes me  so happy.

I love doodling randomly. It could take hours, and makes me forget things around me. Usually I’m doodling during those boring classes, such as Indonesian class… Sociology class… I rather doodling than sleeping. But well, I sleep during classes too honestly.

have a classmate that love to do this thing too. Call him Adit. Here is one of his random doodle (and it’s on my notebook!) :D

Now tell me, who doesn’t like music? Listening to my favorite songs is my #1 mood-booster. Headphones on, world off. I love to lock myself in my room and listening a bunch of songs on my playlist all day long using headphones. We need to ignore the world sometimes, don’t we?

That’s 10 songs I’ve been listening most of the times. What’s yours? Tweet me. J

Then..  you have no idea how I love this kind of sport. I love basketball, and it’s more than a hobby. For me, basketball is one of important things in my life. I might be a bit late to join, but, hey, better be late than not at all right?

Buffering videos on YouTube is my hobby nowadays. And so far, this one is my favorite:

Doing things above is really work for me.

Hypersensitive

"It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it." - Roseanne Barr
I wish I could be as simple as that quotes above. But in fact, I'm not. I don't have this "bulimic" or such thing, I just feelin' so desperate everytime I stare at the mirror and seeing my body shape from head-to-toe. I'm fat. But it doesn't mean that I wish for a skinny body or what... but with this height, I'm fat.
Well, today I just checked my weight in my school's medical room and feelin' a bit down. I didn't do any weight-loss like I thought I did.

I'm not this kind of girl who being wanted by every guy. Well I admit it. And most of times, it makes me feel like "I won't be good enough for that guy I like". People keep talking about this "inner-beauty" thingy that appears from a "self-confidence", but I don't know why I just can't believe it. Sounds like I didn't be thankful for how I am now, huh? Forgive me, God.

I'm being so hypersensitive of what people said about me these days. Ugh. It's because of this kind of feelin' that somebody just make me feel. God, I really hate "falling-in-love" phase. I hate it. I hate the way this thing makes me feel pathetic and not good enough to fall for someone.
This guy, is such the "it' boy. Sounds like a teen-drama, I know. I kinda hate my schoolmates' reaction hearing about me, liking this guy. They were like... "ahaha, you?" :/ nah. I should be back off. I think all I can do is just watching him from his back, and he will never turn around to see me.

pictures above from here.

A Little Flashback :]

This time, I will post something in Indonesian. hahaha. I'm Indonesian anyway. Nah, apa yang bakal aku post ini sebenernya "pe er" gitu dari a friend of mine, Basith (panggil aja bocah jerman ya hahaha :p)

Flashback?
eum, pertama masuk SD tahun berapa ya....2001 kalo ga salah deh. Aku sekolah dari kelas 1 saaaampe kelas 6 di SD Muhammadiyah 2 Pontianak. Termasuk murid yang super nakal. Di sana ada peraturan ga boleh jajan jajanan yang di luar pagar sekolah. Berhubung jajanan favorit pas sd itu dijualnya di luar pagar sekolah, of course aku harus melanggar that kind of rule. hukumannya pas ketauan? mungut 1000 sampah. asek.


Guru Favorit?
Aku suka semua guru di sana. Mau galak, mau engga, they were nice, I guess. Soalnya, mereka tuh worth to remember sampe udah SMA begini. Kalo dikenang kenang tuh, mereka lucu banget. Cara mereka ngehukum, ngomelin, nasehatin, duh. Udah SMA jadi kangen banget. :')


Guru Killer?
BAHAHAHAHA. Aku selalu berurusan sama guru guru killer. Pelajaran matematika pas kelas 4 dikeluarin dari kelas soalnya, berhubung ini sekolah swasta Islam, jadi sebelum belajar harus baca surah surah pendek, dan aku ga baca. Malah ngobrol. Trus pernah dipanggil keruang BK dengan berbagai kenakalan yang yah... anak sd banget lah.


Teman Bolos?
Maih sd ga pernah kepikiran bolos. *saint*


Teman Berantem?
can you guys believe that temen yang dulu sering berantem sama aku pas sd sekarang jadi salah satu my besties? that's nature law. time goes by, people change :)

this was my diary when I was a 6th grader. That's a (horrible yet embarrasing:|)
picture of me and my bestfriends. bestfriends, until now. :)

Jajanan Favorit?
yang ada di dalem sekolah: indomie goreng. Dan selalu kebagian mie nya pas udah bel masuk. Jadi makannya kebut kebutan. Bibir doer soalnya mienya masih panas :|
yang di luar pagar: es tebu. sosis goreng. kacang rebus. dan masih banyak lagi.


Jajan Mainan?
POSTER SAILORMOON. Dulu koleksi aku banyaaaaaak banget. Rela desak desakkan sama murid murid laen setiap pulang sekolah. Rela di omelin mama gara gara duit jajan biasanya abis beli itu doang. *fingercrossed*


Sepatu/Tas Favorit?
Sepatu ga jauh dari tomkins lah sama tas export. Anak sd mah nurut aja sama mama mau dibeliin apa terima aja.


That's it! Thanks Basith! ;)

such a perfect match

I love the weather these days. It's raining almost everyday. I've spent a lot of time in front of my laptop screen, buffering some videos, covering my body with a big warm blanket and my frozen feet with socks, and hot chocolates. But sometimes I'm going out from home for some basketball practice. But today, I had a fun soccer under the rain with a couple of friends--the guys. And it was including this guy I was talking about in the previous post. Playing out in the rain never been this fun before.

I've been listening to Is It Okay If I Call You Mine for a couple of times and all I can say is I love it. It fits the weather, I mean, mellow song like this plus this kind of weather are... such a perfect match. However, this song is kinda into me.

"..and what I'm tryin' to say isn't really new 

it's just the things that happen to me

when I'm reminded of you

like when I hear your name, 

or see a place that you've been, 

or pass a house that you've been in one time or another.. 

it sets off something in me I can't explain, 

and I can't wait to see you again.."

Paul McCrane - Is It Okay If I Call You Mine

I've figured out that..

"‘I love you’ means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you even when you’re in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. ‘I love you’ means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine. It means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go. It means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, and hoping you feel the same way for me." - Jonathan Safran Foer

 hey you there. I've fallen for you. I know it will be such an unrequited feeling. I just want you to know.

happy Eid Mubarak!

It was Eid Mubarak on Tuesday, August 30, 2011.

For those who don’t know what is Eid Mubarak, I’ll tell you a bit.

Eid Mubarak or Idul Fitri is a Muslim holiday (which is my religion) as a sign of the end of Ramadhan, the Islamic holy month of fasting. Muslim celebrate it after twenty-nine or thirty days of dawn-to-sunset fasting during the entire month of Ramadhan. Eid Mubarak is marked according to the Islamic calendar, which is based on the lunar phases of the moon. In the morning of Eid Mubarak, Muslims offer the Eid Pray at the Mosques or in open fields.

Eid Mubarak, besides mean a brand new day and brand new heart, is also mean new clothes, cannon festival, family gathering, a bunch of yummy and sweet foods, and fireworks, for me. :p

I played some fireworks with my sister in the last night of Ramadhan, Monday night. Our local city night was full of huge fireworks and citizens were get outside their houses and watching it until midnite. I stayed at home cz, you have no idea, how crowded the traffic was.

this is our fireworks. 

I didn’t get a chance to picture those 

huge fireworks in the sky ):

did I mention ‘cannon festival’? yes.

That’s my local city’s tradition. Cannon Festival is so many cannons detonated towards the river. So it’s like a war. It’s gonna be like.. BOOOOM here and BOOOOM there. There is a story behind it. My grandpa told me, Cannon Festival began a hundred years ago. That’s our ancestor’s tradition to scared ghosts and such bad spirits. We still keep this tradition anyway. Because all these citizens think that this is fun and this Cannon Festival is so rare.

don’t stand too close with the cannon or your ears get hurt! 

So, what’s your local city’s tradition in Eid Mubarak? ;)

   

Fifteen

“cz when you’re fifteen, somebody tells you they love you, and you gonna believe them.”

Fifteen is my lucky number. I don’t know why I believe in the luck this “lucky number” brings. You know, for me, being fifteen is awesome. When you finally turning fifteen, that’s the time when you should face your first year of hi-school. The time when you can do everything you wanna do and say you need to ‘learn’ everytime people gets mad at what you’ve done. The time when you feel like you’re not a little girl anymore, but also not a woman yet.  The time when you’re gonna be so sensitive about what happens around you. And the time when have a date with a senior sounds really good.

I always write “#15” on my hand whenever I’m going to face something that makes me nervous (like exams, or such thing), and I guess it’ll suggested me to do the right things I should do.

I was turning fifteen on September 15, 2010. What a beautiful coincidence. Fifteen is my birth

date. I was born on September 15, 1995, on Friday evening. I thought everything in my life

connected with this number.

I will turn 16 in less than a month. Ya however, the world keeps spinning and revolves around the sun. We’re getting a year older each year.

How I wish I could be fifteen forever.

what makes life such worth to live?

"sometimes you think you'll be fine by yourself
cz a dream is a wish that you're make all alone."

Right. Sometimes we feel like it's okay to live your life alone and you don't need any hand to help.
And sometimes we just don't realized that what we need isn't always a hand to help, but also people to laugh with.
Those people called friends.

Those people on picture above aren't mean only friends for me. They're more than that.
We were getting so this close when we were on 8th grade. So, you guys must be know why did I chose this topic as my first post. :)

                             we called ourselves Platsm, without knowing what does it mean. =))


so, what makes your life such worth to live right now?

eum...hi!

hello.
I don't know how to start this but.. I'll try with a couple of words.
I'm a newbie in this blogging-world. :)